If there’s one thing I know it’s how to optimize. I cracked it, but getting an orgasm routine going still posed a challenge. In this post I’ll take you through 3 keys to getting of to a good start: appreciate that #1 you gotta get to give, #2 you need physical space and #3 mental space is alfa and omega.
I am a civil engineer and get inspired by optimising systems, all kinds of systems. It just thrills me to make them run smoother and be more efficient. So when I experienced my body and mind shut down from within it was the challenge of a lifetime.
A stress induced depression – probably worsened by synthetic birth control – forced me to take a hard look at how I structured my life and treated my body. Suddenly I was the ‘system’ to be improved.
The human body and mind are a fair deal more complex than the spreadsheets I was used to. Needless to say it took a while longer, several years actually, before I found the keys to my health. One of them was regular orgasms.
I was surprised to learn the powerful hormonal effects of orgasms. But once I made the connection it was obvious.
And the health benefits of orgasms are becoming less controversial fast.
How to set up an orgasm routine
There are clever ways to set up a healthy and beneficial orgasm routine without changing much.
In this guide I want to provide some basic tips to get you started.
Now, “regular orgasm routine” doesn’t have to mean several times a day, doesn’t even mean once a day. Not necessarily.
I don’t believe in a universal ‘orgasm frequency’.
An orgasm a day might seem a lot to many of us when starting out.
Part of practicing a sound orgasm routine is to get more in tune with your body, your personal needs: what works for some leaves others wanting and the other way around.
You just need to figure out what works for you.
It’s a winding road but I’ve got a map you can have 🙂
#1 You’ve gotta get to give
Many of us have ingrained inhibitions to receiving enjoyment. It’s perfectly natural, or rather: it’s cultural.
Women are (still) raised to put their own needs aside to prioritize that of others. Sympathetic as it might seem as counterproductive it can be. Especially if you neglect yourself in the process.
To take good care of others you need to take good care of yourself.
In my experience our psychological disposition to prioritize the enjoyment of others can make orgasms tricky to obtain: telling yourself (and others for that matter) that orgasms are pleasurable doesn’t help achieve them.
Actually, for said reasons, it can make it more difficult.
Thus, my first advice is a ‘psychological hack’ if you like:
To get started, it helped me to stop thinking about orgasms as sexually significant.
When I shifted my conception of orgasms from sexual enjoyment to physiological phenomenon many of the mental inhibitions I had softened.
From a purely physiological perspective it isn’t shameful or odd to have orgasms – rather, it is odd not having them.
I mean, if it is downright healthy to have orgasms why on earth would we deprive ourselves?!
If we put our cultural inhibitions aside the biggest obstacles to regular orgasms are habitual and logistical; Simply doing it. Might still not be easy, though. But at least the challenges are more concrete.
In my experience wanting change evokes little actual change if you are not structured about it.
So here are some concrete tips on kickstarting your new orgasm routine.
#2 Make physical space
You need a door to close and, preferably, lock.
Sure, the bathroom works for a start (especially if you can stash a wand or other efficient climax gear in there) but the bedroom is better – especially for ‘doubles’.
A known challenge in setting up a consistent habit can be talking to your partner.
Don’t worry.
I will walk you through a lot of well tested advice on how to start good conversations with your partner in later guides.
For a start help them ‘de-eroticise’ it: tell your partner it’s a wellness program. It is!
Explain the health benefits: how a good orgasm routine will help you sleep better, make you less stressed, and actually increase your sexdrive (last one usually helps).
You are not taking from them. You are giving to you.
Actually now you’re at it, tell yourself again: orgasms are healthy!
Next point, and this is an important one:
#3 Make mental space
If you can’t focus you can’t climax.
What I do:
If I’ve had a busy day and have a thousand things on my mind I sit down, put on my headset and listen to a 10 minute guided body scan. Yes, that simple.
I like that someone talks me through it.
They’re right there on Spotify. 10 minutes and my mind is much more in tune with my body.
Sometimes I even feel the calm descend the minute I ‘plug in’. After just a few minutes the soft voice in my ears centers me and I’m ready to take good care of myself. Here’s a link to my playlist of guided exercises and soothing sounds.
A good headspace is key for climaxing. If you are not into podcasts you might want to read my tip on how to not-meditate.
Added bonus: When you make time for orgasms it comes back many fold. Regular orgasms help you create time where none existed. Goddess-like.
Yes, the extra energy, good sleep, higher self esteem you get from regular orgasms actually gives you the ability to make time where before there was nothing. Try it out!
Kristine Horn
PS If you like shortcuts I designed and perfected this tool to make any woman climax in 9 minutes or less. Guaranteed.
